2012 - Dwarves Are Born Again

January, 2012

I guess you could say we got tied up for a while. Merchandised into everything from throbbleheads to belt buckles, tapped to score MTV reality shows, busy making solo records and fucking way better than even Rock Legends have any right to, somehow reports of The DWARVES demise still ran rampant as the decade turned. But the masters returned with THE DWARVES ARE BORN AGAIN, a magnum opus featuring every Dwarf ever, a return not only to hardcore glory days, but to the garage and retro styles where the whole sordid saga started countless blown minds ago.

Die hard fans mauled CHIP FRACTURE after a show in Bilbao, Spain when he played the Star Spangled Banner with his teeth. THE FRESH PRINCE OF DARKNESS was detained in Peru on smuggling charges, but managed to consume all of the evidence before trial. UK transplant DUTCH OVENS programs electro classic ’15 MINUTES’ while steering a Harley with his feet.

HEWHOCANNOTBENAMED produced the classic ‘Sunday School Massacre’ (Greedy) and embarked on an extensive tour of Croatia and Southern Latvia.

25 years is a long time to rule Rock, but massive sales of the Dwarves Are Born Again are predicted for sometime near the band's 50th anniversary. Teenage harlots still flock to San Francisco hoping to get a piece of the last punk band left, lunkheads still leave with lumps and the sound still snaps crackles and pops with all of the chaos of yesteryear. The Dwarves have indeed returned; revived, refreshed and raring to rock you right down to your ribcage. Now take you’re your top off!!!

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