Cash for your Dwarves Story!


Tell your best Dwarves story and win cash! Tales of sex, violence, vandalism and villainy; peace, love and musical harmony; death, dope and debauchery! Whatever your Dwarves story is, we want to hear you tell it and if you tell the best story you’ll win $1,000 cash! And three runner ups will win each win $100 for their Dwarves story!

Did a Dwarves record change your life? Did you meet your sweetheart at a Dwarves show? Did you lose your left eye in a Dwarves pit? Did Blag try and fuck your little sister? Did HeWhoCanNotBeNamed puke in your car? Did Vadge Moore finger your girlfriend while Rex Everything went through her purse? Tell your Dwarves story and get paid right now!

Check the fine print below for details…

Contest runs until Halloween 2019 Midnight PCT. Leave your name, email address and phone number to qualify for prizes or you can be completely anonymous if the prizes don’t matter to your hippy ass. Feel free to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth or just lie shamelessly and make something up. Leave as many stories as you want. For best results turn off all background noises tv's, radios, fans etc.for better sounding recordings. Leave as many stories as you want. For long stories leave multiple messages as each recording is only a few minutes.

Mac iOS users will need to have iOS 11 on the latest Safari version in order to use the app. If your system does not work with our built in recorder, feel free to use your computer, tablet or phone recorder and record your own message and email it to Blag himself. Send recordings to

All messages become property of Greedy Media and can be reproduced in any medium whatsoever without limitation. So there!